Dancing with Life in a Wheelchair...and out of it!

Times I felt most authentic

Dancing in a wheelchair

I cannot walk, but I can dance, my electric wheelchair whizzing across the floor in an ecstatic arc of wheels as a group of friends surround me, clapping and cheering. One more twirl, one more squeal of delight before I blend back into the circle of friends and cheer loudly for the dancer that follows after me.

I cannot walk, but I can dance!

There are many different dances and many different ways to dance. Those with the most confidence amongst us dance as if no one is watching, with no particular steps in mind as they simply follow their instincts and the flow of the music. Others are more comfortable with learning the steps.

Dancing with life is no different, some people just instinctively seem to know how it is done. As for the rest of us, we learn the steps along the way. Some steps we learn from those we meet on the road of life while others are gleaned from somewhere deep inside us.

What follows are five steps I have learned from some 44 odd years of trying to dance with this life I've been given. Let me be clear from the outset that  I fail in this dance as often as I succeed, far too many times I find myself face down in the dirt, knees skinned, heart bruised, but I get up and dance on. What else can we do, after all?

Dancing with Life in 5 steps:

Find Your Passion

I believe everyone has something that drives them. That one thing that gets you out of bed in the morning. Some of us find this inner passion early on while others go through their entire life without even knowing it is there.

I was lucky enough to find my passion very early on. I was about eight when I first realized I had a knack for building worlds in my mind. Many years later this gift of imagination would prove very useful in my career as a fantasy writer.

Building worlds is my passion, it is that thing that gets me out of bed in the morning, pushing me forward and on, even at those times when it would be so much easier to just give up.

Now, everyone's passion is different, you might love to paint, or cook, or garden, or fish, or dance, or play music or sports or myriad other things. It doesn't matter what your passion is, as long as you find a way to practice it, even if it's only once a week for a couple of minutes. Practicing your passion is the first step to dancing with life. Being differently-abled is no excuse not to follow your passion either.

I know a guy who has CP in a much more severe grade than I, having no use of his hands or arms (while I am able to drive an electric wheelchair and type with one finger). Yet despite the challenges he faces, Julius draws using his mouth and an Ipad, selling his unique creations at R400 a pop. He is also an accomplished Boccia player. (Boccia being a form of  wheelchair bowling).  Your passion is what makes life worth living, its the music of your dance.
 
Be You

This is a hard one for me. Aren't we taught from a very early age to conform to society's standards? I've always had a hard time doing that and it has nothing to do with me being in a wheelchair or having a rebellious streak or whatever. I just see the world a little differently, noticing huge patches of grey where others only see black and white.

I've felt guilty about this for years, for not seeing the way others see. It felt like just another blemish, another anomaly, one more way I was different and I hated it. It took years of internal conflict to realize that this 'seeing differently' was actually a huge gift and it was only when I embraced my way of seeing and of being in the world as a blessing instead of a curse, that I could truly begin to dance with life.

So be you, whoever 'you' are. I know it's not easy, but embrace all of who you are, acknowledge the flaws and the quirks with grace and celebrate those qualities that represent the best of who you are. It's all a part of the dance.

Find Your own Secret Garden

I think if I could walk I'd be a bit of a gypsy, having a great wanderlust in me. My circumstances being what they are strolling physically through a forest or along pebbled beaches are not always possible, but if I can't go there in my body, I can go there in my mind and often do.

In fact, I have a place I go at times, a cottage on an Irish beach where I can go to reconnect with myself, with the Universe, with God... In this tiny beach cottage, I am not my body, not constrained by physical limitations or others' perceptions or expectations and for a few moments, I can simply be.

Your method of recharging may be an actual walk on an actual beach, or watching the sunset or doing yoga, whatever it is give yourself permission to indulge in that which feeds your soul and fuels the dance.

Give Yourself what you wish others would

For much of my life, I have looked to others to give me happiness, or love or acceptance, or praise. I gave others the power to decide my worth, because of what I thought I needed from them. It took me longer than it should have to realize that while I do need people and family, friends and a great support system are vital for someone in my position, only I can determine my happiness. Only I can choose how to respond to things. And there are times when those things I so desperately need from others, must come from me first.

Look for the Magic in the mundane

It is my sincere experience that there is magic to even the most mundane life, but to see it we have to look for it. It requires us to get off auto-pilot and be present, open. We have to be willing to give of ourselves and trust life...just a little bit even as we realize that every breath, every heartbeat is only a gift.



So there you have it, just a few of the ways in which I dance with life. No one person's dance is the same, we all hear different melodies, that's ok. I don't expect you to dance like me, I just hope you find, the courage to dance...in a wheelchair or out of it...

Regards

Freeda Moon