I get by with a little help from my family and friends (Why a Good Support System is Vital)

We all need people, even the strongest most self-contained, self-sufficient person on earth will come to a point in his or her life where they need someone. If there is one thing living in a wheelchair teaches you then it is this. You need others to survive, to thrive even. You can't do this alone. You are going to need help.

This can be a hard lesson to learn for some of us especially when we reach the age when those around us, our siblings are moving on and moving up, standing on their own two feet and starting their own households and families. We want that independence too and as far as we are able independence is something we strive for.

But more often than not the differently-abled has to accept the fact that we are more interdependent than independent, because of this a good support system is vital. During the early formative years, our main support system is our family, parents, siblings, grandparents and so on. If we are lucky this first and primary support system will help us feel safe and cherished enough to ask for help when and if we need it and if we are very lucky these early encounters with our family will model to us that it may be safe to ask for help from those outside our immediate family circle when and if we need it.

I am one of the very lucky ones, my family was always, always there for me and still are, but over the years I've also been blessed enough to have a circle of loyal, kind and very generous friends who are always willing to lend support.

Last week's blog was a prime example of how this group of friends band together to support me. Two weeks ago there was another instance of this when my electric wheelchair's backrest snapped on the one side, while I was driving down the street. The chair had been on borrowed time for a while, but it was still a shock when it happened.

It was a blessing that I had not yet roamed too far from home, though it took me almost a full ten minutes to turn my chair around, at a snail's pace and try to head back home uphill. It was only about the distance of a meter, but it was very slow going, what with me doing my best not to fall out.

I was halfway home when I saw my mom's car approaching from the opposite side. Seeing me leaning half out of the chair she quickly stopped and together we managed to make it home. After making sure that I was in no immediate danger of falling, mom went to pick up my carers who quickly got me into a  manual chair.

A neighbor who happened to have an electric wheelchair he was trying to sell, generously offered me the use of it while we figured out our next move. The only problem was that the borrowed chair's joystick was on the left-hand side while I am right-handed.

After getting permission from the chair's owner to switch the controls to the right-hand-side, I contacted a friend whose husband is an engineer, someone I hoped might be able to switch the wheelchair controls. My friend, in turn, contacted another mutual friend (also an engineer) and within 24 hours they were both at our door offering any assistance I might need.

They never did get around to switching the borrowed chair's controls, opting instead to fix the broken chair, as good if not better than, new and within just a few hours I was fully mobile again. Asking for help is not always easy, even after all these years of obligatory practice. It's not something I relish. I and many of my fellow differently-abled would much rather be able to do for ourselves. I am very aware that any help or support I receive is a generous kindness, a gift and never a right. I am not entitled to your support, but I am humbled by it and so thankful.

Through the support of family and friends, I often see grace in practice which is why I'm blessed beyond measure to say: "I get by with a little help from my family and friends!"

Regards

Freeda Moon


Next Week: The Differently-abled and their Siblings