Life is hard...and amazingly wonderful, so keep an open mind

Last night I had a nightmare. I dreamt I had cancer. It was so vivid, so real that I woke with a rapidly beating heart and a huge sense of relief when I realized it was, in fact, just a dream. The big C has been a huge fear of mine ever since I was a very young child. In my late teens, I watched my dad succumb to the dreaded disease and later still it claimed my aunt as well as the youngest of my half-sisters. Once I was ready to tackle the day I googled what dreaming of cancer might mean, I read the first explanation: A part of you is dying... Oookay then. The next explanation popped up and seemed to leap off the screen at me: Dreaming of cancer often denotes the end of one life-cycle and the beginning of another... An unwilling smile tugged at my lips as I looked at the computer screen. Of course, I thought wryly, of course... Have I mentioned that it is less than a fortnight until my 45th Birthday? That puts me firmly in the middle-age bracket. How strange when in my...

I've been building worlds in my head for as long as I can remember. As a child, it was a way to cope with life in a wheelchair. As an adult, it made sense to try and put these worlds to paper. When I began writing seriously I did it simply because I enjoyed it. I had no real expectation at the time, except maybe to share this inner-world with others who might enjoy it. Then came the expectations, my own to be sure, and little by little the joy seeped out of the craft. I looked at my stories and they seemed too simple somehow. My stories, the ones I love to write, those stories which seem to flow most naturally from me, are simple stories. Stories about a tiny hamlet and it's everyday people with everyday lives. The 'magic' in this story is natural, simple magic. The love story at the heart of this series is equally simple. I looked at it and thought of the 'market', feeling my little, simple story quite inadequate. So I tried to make it more complic...

It seems the differently-able are rolling out of the shadows and right into pop-culture, and for the most part, I'm thrilled. Barbie Fashionista's Differently-Abled Doll Barbie gets a wheelchair. Now let me start off by saying when I first heard this I had mixed feelings ranging from 'Oh I'd have loved something like this as a kid' to, 'I wonder how badly this will bomb?' I never realized this but apparently,  Mattel originally released a  Barbie in a wheelchair  in the 90s, but later discontinued the product because the doll didn't fit in her dollhouse. Understandably, one person asked whether this issue had now been resolved. 'Does she fit through the doors in B arbie's  play house?' It's somewhat ironic that fitting through doors, or under tables in restaurants or offices is also an issue for us ordinary differently-able folk, accessibility is very much something we deal with on a daily basis. Wheelchair Barbie is also made ...

Okay, so here we are at part two of my romantic misadventures. I hope all of you had a great Valentine's Day.  So...I thought long and hard about how to approach this post. This blog is about my life and about giving you a window into my life, as such I try to be brutally honest here. I present myself to you warts and all. But I don't mean to embarrass anyone. Embarrassing myself is fine, but there is a guy in this next story, a kind, caring, decent, generous guy who is, I think, still blissfully unaware that 10 years ago I had a major crush on him. He was at the time unmarried and a few years younger than me. He never shared my feelings, I never expected him to, but he was then and remains to this day, a good friend. This crush lasted about two years, but was mercifully, long over by the time he met the woman who is now his wife. The only reason I will speak about this crush here is because of what it taught me. Here then is the anatomy of a crush in your 30's. ...

It can happen It can happen Jenny and John are living proof that the differently-abled can find love, romantic love, that is. I wish I did not have to phrase it like that, that it could be accepted as a normal fact of life, like 'Yes, of course, differently-abled people fall in love, of course, they do! They're human so it's kind of a given, right?' Well... Jenny was somewhat of a legend amongst her circle of friends, she was feisty, irreverent and she refused to be defined by her wheelchair, but her legendary status sprung from the fact that she bucked convention. How? She did something really daring. Can you guess? She fell in love with a young man who worked at the care facility where she lived and he fell in love with her. He was 26, she was 25 and they started dating, as two young people in love do. So far nothing too scandalous right? Just two consenting adults enjoying one another's company. Then the relationship turned physical. By the time t...

Feelings. It is one of human beings' most distinctive features, the ability to feel and be aware that we feel. Being human, I also feel, a wide range of feelings covering the full spectrum of human emotion. I feel joy and sadness, love, lust, frustration, anger and everything in between. I am extremely lucky to be able to express these emotions, through my words, actions and yes, even through this blog you are now reading. I am aware that some who are differently-abled are not so lucky. But even those of us who cannot express ourselves, still feel. So why am I telling you this? Well, maybe it's because it seems there are some emotions which the differently-abled are not encouraged to express. Friendly, optimistic politeness is fine (some might even call it 'inspirational') but anger, well anger seems to make people uncomfortable. Just this past week I've found myself sitting opposite a man I've known and respected for years. He knows me, at least I th...

''You never complain, you're always smiling,'' a lady told me on Christmas day 2019. She meant it as a compliment and I took it as such. The truth is I have a pretty great life, family who loves me despite my many faults, a mother who spoils me and friends that support me unflinchingly, often above and beyond. I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and two dedicated carers who wash me and dress me come rain or shine. I have a good life, a life I'm very thankful for and so most of the time, that smile that you see on my face it's genuine just as it was this past Christmas day. But, full disclosure,  there are also times, however, few and far between, when my smile is a way to hide and deflect. Times like these my smile is a way to say: "All's fine move along now, there's nothing to see here." I learned, very, very early on that people are more willing to help you when you smile and say 'please' and 'thank you' a...